Dating. An invention that was created during the 1900s for a man to get to know a woman whom they fancied on an intellectual and emotional level. Believe it or not, when dating first came about, the girl and the boy would get to know each other in the presence of their parents! I’m pretty sure if I were to have a date with a girl in front of my parents, there wouldn’t be a second date. Fast forward a 100 years, it’s safe to say that this invention has drastically changed, and I’m not entirely sure if it’s for the better.
Our society has made a rather clear definition of what it means to be dating and in an intimate relationship with someone. In today’s society, you are automatically granted certain things or privileges once the title of “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” has been established. For example, if I were to get a girlfriend, I should be allowed to hold her hand, talk to her on the phone until the sun breaks, and, oh yeah, I’m allowed to have casual sex with her.
“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down Alex. I mean, we are allowed certain things, but I’m not so sure that society is promoting sex.” Unfortunately it’s true. Look at all the movies that are out now. For example, “No Strings Attached” is a movie about a couple participating in sexual intercourse WITHOUT the title. How does the movie end? Spoiler alert! The movie ends with them realizing that they “love” each other and now, they are having sexual intercourse WITH the title. Just to be clear, when I say title, I mean the title of girlfriend and boyfriend, not husband and wife. Not to mention the creation of applications such as Tinder, which is an app that promotes casual hook-ups and one night stands. Sex has simultaneously changed with the definition of dating from something pure and intended with the boundaries of marriage, into something twisted and trivial.
Let’s define sex from where it originated: the Bible. Sex is a gift from God intended for married couples to enjoy sexual intimacy to fulfill God’s created order. Tim Keller says that:
“Sex is perhaps the most powerful God-created way to help you give your entire self to another human being. Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, “I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.”
Genesis 2:24 says that “man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” 1 Corinthians 7:3 says that “husbands should fulfill his marital duties to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” The Bible makes it rather clear that sex was designed for a man and woman in covenant to enjoy.
Okay, so if sex is meant for married couples, how far can I go with my girlfriend or boyfriend before it becomes sinful? Let’s take this time to remember that dating was originally intended to be a stepping stone into marriage. That means that everyone who is dating as of right now consciously or unconsciously has the intentions of getting married in the future. THAT BEING SAID, if you are partaking in sexual activities with your significant other, you could potentially be participating in these acts with another person’s future spouse. I’m not trying to scare or guilt trip you, but it’s the truth. If we are treating our girlfriends and boyfriends the way that our wives and husbands should be treated, then what’s the point of getting married? If there is no difference between a girlfriend/boyfriend and a spouse, why go through the expensive ceremony and paperwork? Also, remember that dating was a term that was created in the 1900s. Key word here is CREATED. This means that we should not be treating our girlfriends and boyfriends any differently than we would our close friends. Why? Because dating as a societal construct for premarital sexual activities was CREATED by us! So instead, we should consider Godly dating as intentionally getting to know someone of the opposite sex so that we can eventually marry and fulfill God’s created order. Otherwise, when we take this modern dating creation and use it as a means to ask for illegitimate privileges, we are taking away from the gift of marriage that God has given to us.
http://www.bibleinfo.com/en/topics/sex “Preparing your teens for college” Alex Chediak
My name is Alex Hwang. I am 21 years old and am currently studying Narrative and Theater at the University of Southern California. I am pursuing a career as an actor in the entertainment industry. My passion lies within stories and how they unfold. I believe that Jesus and the Bible is the greatest, most accurate story to date.
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